Finding Power in Processing Pain
Pain is an inevitable part of life. We have treatments for physical pain and mental pain, what about how to process emotional pain?
It can sometimes feel like we are surrounded by the pressure to lead an aesthetically pleasing life - on social media, on television, in adverts and in our workplaces. Society values the appearance - the appearance of success, happiness and wealth and these demands can sometimes push us to hide the reality of challenges that we face in life.
The stress of trying to keep up can sometimes push us to ignore our emotional wellbeing. Despite a culture of discussion in which we continuously take the time to process a variety of topics, including race and gender, we are yet to explore the ways in which we process our personal emotions in modern society. Have you considered the effects of modern culture on how you deal with your emotions?
Approaching Our Pain
Pain is a universal experience. It is an inevitable part of life, whether it is physical, mental or emotional. So, why aren’t we talking about it? As women, we often push ourselves to be emotionally strong in order to defy the stereotype of the hysterical woman. The desire to maintain how others perceive us also encourages us to brush our pain aside as we force ourselves to be resilient. This lifestyle of glossing over our emotions is perpetuated by the demands of modern culture and our fixation on preserving how we are perceived by others.
“Handling pain is a deeply personal journey”
Processing Our Pain
There are a few points to consider when exploring our rushed approach to processing pain.
The first is that like all emotions, handling pain is a deeply personal journey which is unique to the individual. We often experience pain by ourselves and although others can empathise with us, ultimately we deal with it alone. The loneliness of processing pain is enough for many of us to want to move on as quickly as possible.
Another reason for our hands-off approach is that it is a slow process. It takes an unknown amount of time to get through pain and there is no obvious or immediate fix. This experience can feel similar to fumbling around in the dark.
Wanting to avoid the messiness and vulnerability of pain is another reason why we can gloss over our issues, as displaying our raw emotions can feel uncomfortable.
Despite these hurdles, giving ourselves the liberty to feel, understand and come to peace with our emotions is essential to processing pain.
The danger of not giving yourself the opportunity to process is that it layers up. Pain does not disappear or dissipate, it lingers and spreads affecting our confidence, decisions and how we relate to others. Processing is a matter of personal wellbeing.
“Navigating pain is more than feeling okay, it is self-care”
Support in Our Pain
We can turn to the Bible for support when dealing with pain. Having patience and the belief that we are never alone can soothe the journey of processing our pain. Psalm 34 verse 18 writes reassuringly of how God is always with us. Navigating pain is more than feeling okay, it is self-care, exploring and understanding who you are, and ultimately growing in power.
WORDS BY
Tamilore Ogunyemi
