Standing in faith when plans fall through
Life sometimes gives us the opposite of what we had planned. We all go through crises. It is how we respond that shows what we are truly hoping for and trusting in. What do you do when the plans you have fall through? When the plans your parents had to watch you graduate, buy a home or start a family are altered by loss; when the hope of having children is overshadowed by miscarriage; when the plan of a well-detailed career is suddenly halted by redundancy; when the money runs out; or when your heart is broken?
Photographer: Nicole Bentley. Fashion Stylist: Naomi Smith. Hair Stylist: KOH. Makeup Artist: Linda Jefferyes. Set Design: Jacqui Ives. Model: Agi Akur at MG Models.
My crisis came when my grand plans to celebrate my wedding were changed by death. When life gives us what we did not plan for – when things suddenly get really hard – it is difficult to accept. It is difficult to even move our feet because plans are the motivation on which many of us stand. We make goals, we strive for more, we dream, and we work. And, when that suddenly changes, we can feel like we are left isolated and alone, picking up pieces we never imagined could break. Our minds replay everything, thinking about what we could have done differently to make it better, all the while knowing it was never in our control.
‘Faith is strength in adversity, and hope in darkness’
Keep walking, even when you can’t see the way
Martin Luther King defined faith as taking the first step, even when you do not see the stairs. Faith is strength in adversity and hope in darkness. In the letter to the Hebrews in the Bible, it says ‘Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see’ (Hebrews, 11:1). In crisis, it can feel like this makes no sense at all. In life’s hardest moments, how can we have complete confidence that things will work out? Is it possible to believe that it will get better?
Yes, it is. Through the struggle, through pain and through heartache, we can have faith that things will get better. When life blindsides us, it is faith that keeps us holding on through the tears, and pushing through the pain. When we get knocked down, faith helps us get up – whether it takes us minutes, hours, days, weeks or months to do it. However long it takes, what matters is that we get up and do not give in.
‘Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength’
Hopeful acceptance is good for us
Research has shown that willingness to accept what cannot change has a lot to do with emotional and psychological wellbeing. Acceptance, in psychology, is a person’s assent to the reality of a situation; acceptance is painful and it hurts because it confirms our lack of power and control of the situation we are in.
The serenity prayer penned by Rienhold Niebuhr and popularised by Alcoholics Anonymous says ‘God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things l can, and the wisdom to know the difference.’ The old testament book of Isaiah in the Bible says ‘But, those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength’ (Isaiah 40:31). Acceptance which manifests hope, leading to faith, is not weakness or passive. It does not mean that it doesn’t hurt when things are not how we planned, nor does it mean we understand why things went wrong – it is simply a recognition.
Some things are not in our control. But God, the one who is in control, will give us the strength we need to get through. Choose to trust God even when the road ahead seems uncertain, because difficult times, difficult seasons are not sent to destroy us, but to increase faith and strengthen us. Keep the faith when things do not go as planned; remain hopeful that tomorrow will contain some beauty; be confident that you will smile again. Sometimes, out of heartache some of the most beautiful things in life are born. And through it all, God will sustain you.
WORDS BY
Kumbi Ncube
