Should we rethink the phrase - ‘fake it till you make it’?
It is natural to project what we believe others would like to see: confidence, poise, talent. These are admired and so we may have a desire to ‘fake’ them on occasion. But the best projection, the one that most uplifts us, is the one that is true.
Mango Fall 2018: The Selection
Photographer: Benjamin Vnuk
Model: Karly Loyce
Hair Stylist: Paolo Soffiatti
Makeup Artist: Christine Corbel
Our culture prizes image and we often want to share the best version of ourselves outwardly. This is best summarised in the business advice, ‘fake it ‘till you make it’. With it, we receive permission to appear as a version of ourselves before fully becoming that person. It is advice that offers a quick solution to combating self-doubt, but ultimately allows us to lead with a half-truth.
In the long term, humility emerges as a strong tool. It helps us to overcome the pressure of ego we may face when pursuing our goals. The chance to be our true selves - reflecting on the outside what we have been intentional about cultivating inwardly - is where lasting confidence lies.
Living authentically
Putting our best foot forward is important in any endeavor, especially as we take steps towards achieving our vision. But it is equally important to be honest, and trust that who we are is enough. We each possess something special given our individual experiences - this is a large part of what makes us uniquely suited for our various roles in life. We use it as a source of fuel for improving our craft. Accepting all of who we are is the beginning of creating authentically - melting away the pressure to perform. Essentially, what we have currently is enough for where we are in the present. And we can continue practicing our artistry in the meantime. Taking time to develop our skill set and mindset prepares us fully for the opportunities to come.
‘Humility helps us overcome the pressure of ego when pursuing our goals.’
Strength found in our weakness
Our sincerity in being our true selves in front of others draws us closer to each other. The ability to admit our weaknesses and own up to the places where we are still growing is a powerful show of vulnerability. In choosing the humility of truth, we actually tap into God’s strength. In the Bible verse of 2 Corinthians 12:9, a teacher named Paul has a conversation with God where he is assured of the power in his weaknesses: ‘But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.’
This kind of joy in weakness seems strange at first, as we are often taught that our shortcomings should remain hidden. While we will spend time molding these parts of ourselves, God invites us to not seek perfection in them. Instead, those things are evidence of what Jesus brings into our lives: the strength to do more than we ever could on our own.
‘Success is a journey of aligning our private work and public projection.’
Better together
The Bible also shares the freedom available in living humbly: ‘Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up’ (James 4:10.) When we are honest about what we need help with, God gives us the encouragement to grow in those areas. The fulfilling part about being truthful in who we are is that we empower others to do the same. In team settings, we often find that what we perceive we lack in one area comes as a natural talent to someone else. The opposite is also true: our gifts represent what someone else struggles to manage. Collaboration highlights this balance beautifully: it is a mingling of the best that we all have to bring to the table. This enjoyment is missed when we ‘fake it till we make it.’ We reduce the chances of connecting with people in a real way when we seek to present an imitation. Being truthful creates an environment for others to do the same, allowing us to accomplish more together.
The appeal of faking it often comes with our desire to attain a specific triumph. What if we redefined what it means to ‘make it?’ Success is less of a final destination than it is the sum of what we learn along the way. It is a journey to aligning our private work and public projection. When we present ourselves in front of others, there is confidence in knowing that what we present is the truth. And that in addition to accepting our weaknesses, we have also put in the necessary work to make our dreams a reality. Here, we no longer have to hide or overcompensate for the parts of us that seem less admirable. As ambitious women who carry many dreams, it comes as no surprise that we work hard to achieve the goals in our hearts. But we can rest securely in the fact that those things are best realised when we champion the truth of who we are, not who we think we should be.
WORDS BY
Britnie Dates
