For the Moments When We Waver
It is an affirming experience to be confident and certain. But how do we handle the urge to shrink back when we are unsure of who we are? Finding security in ourselves and beliefs is a process founded on a strong sense of identity.
Photography: Manolo Campion Styled by: Amarsana Gendunova Hair: Fernando Torrent Makeup: Aya Komatsu Models: Kelsey Van Mook, Olivia Lansing
In an instant, everything within me turns in several different directions. My mind becomes a sea of fog and I question how I can overcome the inner confusion that feels all consuming. This, my initial reaction to uncertainty within myself, often leaves me unsettled and without a final resolution. I have come to see that the chaos whirling inside of me is really an internal debate. It represents a tension between security in personal belief and the assumption of how it will be perceived. Standing firm in what we believe is rarely without ease. This is made more difficult when we are unsure of ourselves and our own thoughts.
Finding Our Identity
Seeing the truth of who we are is a brave undertaking. Discovering this goes deeper than acknowledging our strengths and weaknesses. To speak of our identity is really to speak of our very being- it rests in finding its source. A great place to start is through quiet, introspective time with God. The Bible holds God’s words to us, including His thoughts of us and the reason for our being. In the book of Psalms, a king named David becomes aware of this truth, “For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139: 13-14.) We view who we are based on what we believe about how we were made. Through conversation with God, David comes to understand that he was made with intention and is brought to a place of gratitude.
‘A strong sense of identity brings with it security.’
Building a Solid Foundation
The assurance of our identity becomes the foundation upon which everything else is built. When moments come that tempt us to question who we are, we are always able to go back to the words that God has spoken about us. This is the basis for strengthening ourselves. In the book of Matthew, Jesus actually makes the correlation between acting on what we hear and the fortitude of our inner being. “Therefore whoever hears these sayings of Mine, and does them, I will liken him to a wise man who built his house on the rock; and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it did not fall, for it was founded on the rock” (Matthew 7:24.) When we heed our identity and choose to make decisions from this place, we are building on solid ground.
‘Wavering signals that we may be going against what is personal to us.’
Choosing to Stand Firm
As the groundwork is settled, it becomes a choice each day to rest in the truth that we have learned about ourselves. A strong sense of identity brings with it security. When I look back on moments where I have wavered in being myself, it often came at the expense of not trusting that who I am is enough. One scripture in the Bible that I turn to regularly is Psalm 1:2-3, “But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law he meditates day and night. He shall be like a tree planted by rivers of water that brings forth its fruit in its season…” Here we find that relishing what God has said, planting ourselves there, is a source of nourishment and satisfaction. So much so that we develop deep roots. This is an inner acceptance that grows more firm with every decision. The more in tune we are with ourselves, our desires, and what we believe, the more likely we are to make choices that reflect them.
How do we find this courage to stand firm? Wavering signals that we may be going against what is personal to us. It creates confusion, whereas a strong sense of identity allows us to stay tethered to our roots. Rarely does this security come overnight, but is achieved over the course of many decisions. It is a daily walk of navigating the likes of comparison, insecurity, and validation. And yet, we do not have to walk the path alone. We are joined by God. The book of Proverbs shares, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths” (Proverbs 3:5-6.)
WORDS BY
Britnie Dates
